appleqb: Animated gif of wolf howling silhouetted by the moon, red (wolfhowl)
( Oct. 9th, 2009 11:11 pm)
(rant sort of on a kinda personal matter... all details omitted. I apologize in advance I just gotta get it out, ya know)
Have you ever had a week that...

The tapestry of my life is slowly being destroyed in an amazing way. I mean it's like some threads are unraveling, some are being burned away, some are being violently ripped out, and others are simply disappearing like they where never there.
o.O
and yet, as sure as you please, I'm weaving a new tapestry just as the other one is disolving... and they look exactly the fucking same!
WHAT!

It's like my life has been completely destroyed and nothing has fucking changed and it's confusing as hell!

Only no. I'm not confused. I know exactly what's going on, for the first time I'm allowing myself to see it. God. This week has been really fucking weird in a way that no casual observer would have ever been able to see. Hell NO ONE KNOWS!

Let me say that things were so weird that RHBG rose up to tell me that in the even that I fail things would be taken care of! OMG! RHBG talked to me... I thought... I kinda thought she was dead... but apparently she's been biding her time... My Loose Morals And Questionable Ethics Personality let me know she was waiting to take me through whatever fucked up mess I get myself into and bring me out the other side...

Which, in a way... Is really comforting... I mean, mental breakdown aside, things will never get so bad as to leave me hopeless... On the other hand... My fake personality disorder is apparently trying to reemerge.

What a World.

But as I said... nothing at all changed so...

Umm I never got around to playing my flute. I have been stalling writing Partly becuase I am reluctant to continue the chapter of Dangerous Bonds, and Partly because I know I need to switch over to Strange... I'm actually going at a good clip for Dangerous Bonds for the first time in a while... excepting for that stalled writing bit...

But OKAY.... I put Duo (Who is freaking out because he knows he is in over his head) Heero (Who is not very loqucious at the best of time but who is also still kinda pissed at Duo... but is also kind of concerned because he's realizing he and Duo have good reason to be concerned) And Treize (Who aside from being the villian is still a Gentelman...) in a Creepily Large Dinning Room together. We'll you can imagine the converstation is not coming to me easily. See, normally Duo would just be talking a mile a minute and Heero would be brooding and Treize would be politely conversing with Duo and blissfully unaware of what was going on right bellow his nose.
Only...
Duo has a lot more on his mind than usual... and if anyone would get the rambling monologue, It's Heero... Which means it's silent and internal in other words //speach\\ .
Heero has got a lot on his mind, thanks to Duo. and he's already anxious... well that would still make him brood.
Treize on the other hand, may be polite, but blissfully unaware is a stretch...

Plus, add to this that I don't know how to do quite civil dinner converstaion.... Honestly, my family... love 'em to death but they are not quiet. They're not rude or uncouth, they are just... a colorful bunch...

Still I think I'll cobble together a stilted awkward conversation and move on. It's supposed to be stilted and awkward.

Move on to Strange... maybe

RHBG! OMG!
.

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