Title: Fourth of July
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Pairing: 1+2+1
Warnings: Military Violence
Song: Fourth of July by Mariah Carey
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, the characters within, or the song. No money is being made from this fic.
Author's Note: I've been meaning to write this for over 10 years, I just managed it today. Happy 4th of July!

Starry eyed
As you put your hand in mine...

“I am not concussed,” he was trying to check my pupils. “Come on, you're supposed to be the serious one. Quit playing around.”

He wasn't smiling but somehow he still seemed intensely amused, at my expense. He swiped two fingers across my temple and I felt the sting so I knew what I would see even before he showed me the blood. “I am being serious.”

Huh, maybe I was more effected that I thought.

He cut me off before I could respond, “You're tracking. Come on, keep up,” and he pulled me along at a dead run.


It was twilight
On the Fourth of July
Sparkling colors were
Strewn across the sky
And we sat close enough
That we just barely touched
While roman candles
Went soaring above us and baby

We'd hit the base right at the shift change causing maximum confusion, at least that was the plan. The explosions had been timed to keep the remaining personnel off balance to give us the time to escape. We'd already been on site about 17 hours, collecting intelligence and planting the explosives for the big finale and all without being detected, not too bad. Everything had been going accordingly, until the barracks blew. There'd been more shrapnel from that than I'd anticipated; the whole building exploded instead of the planned roaring inferno. The Ozzies musta been keeping accelerant under their bunks, go figure. I'd been a little too close for that sort of explosion but at least I'd had cover and I hadn't gotten hit by any of the debris. Or so I thought.

Heero and I stood there and watched it for a while, there were a few smaller secondary explosions going off in odd colors like maybe there'd been a hidden chem. lab. in there too. It was quite a show, in atmosphere explosions had a glory that Space just couldn't match.


Then you put your hand in mine
And we wandered away
I was trembling inside
But I wanted to stay
Pressed against you there and leave the world behind
On that Fourth of July

Heero shook his head suddenly and dragged me further back into the recess we were supposed to be hiding in; all business with this one, no time to enjoy the finer things in life. Still, he pressed up against me more that was strictly necessary, not that I was complaining.

He leaned in further and whispered, “We need to extract, now.”

I shook my head (maybe I was a little dizzy as well, I ignored it) and stared at him surprised. “That's off the time table. There's still 278 seconds til the hanger and the mobile suit bay blow,” I whispered back sub-audibly as a half-squad marched past our spot at double time. “There's still too many soldiers on this side of the base, we need the distraction.”

“If it has a larger yield it will catch the fuel depot.”

I sucked in a sharp breath of the thought of that. If the fuel depot goes ahead of schedule it'll blow us all to Kingdom Come. “Let's go.”



So starry eyed
On the flowery hillside
Breathless and fervid
Amid the dandelions
As it swept over me
Like the wind through the trees
I felt you sigh with a
Sweet intensity and baby

He was right. A little over 4 and a half minutes later the Mobile Suit bay went up and a few moments after that the fuel depot went up too.

When we finally cleared the perimeter fence with seconds left we ran for it, across the 50 meter no man's land; there was no time left for subtlety. I heard a shout behind us but whoever spotted us didn't even have to start shooting before the explosion rocked the area. We had reached the edge of the flat area there was still a bit of a incline to run up before we had decent cover; tall grass and some wild flowers, nothing I wanted to run up with eyes on my back. So just as the first explosion sounded, I turned, sighted, and took three quick shot. I hit my targets, three goons toppled over on the top of the guard tower, which meant I happened to be looking in the right directions to see just how much larger the blast was than expected.

I'd only turned long enough shoot before I turned back to continue running with hardly a hitch in my step, but I'd already seen too much; my eyes were practically dazzled and I tried to clear my vision as quickly as I could. “Move!” I shouted, more to motivate myself than Heero, whom I could already hear breathing with efficiency. If he put on that extra burst of speed I knew he was capable of he'd leave me in the dust. We had to get out of there, I could already feel the heat from the first explosion wash over us and the sound the second explosion a moment later shook the ground.


Then you put your hand in mine
And we floated away
Delicately lay entwined
In an intimate daze
A crescent moon began to shine
And I wanted to stay
Tangled up with you among the fireflies
On that Fourth of July

Heero grabbed my hand pulled me along. The shock wave from the secondary explosion hit us just as we crested hill, it actually lifted us off our feet, or maybe Heero had just jumped. Either way we tumbled down the far side of the hill coming to a stop wrapped around each other like an intimate embrace with the embers from the blast drifting down around us like starlight.

It was nice and I would have liked to stay and catch my breath if not for the whine of Mobile Suits could hear approaching from the west. Heero picked his head up and looked down at me, “Are you OK?”

I huffed out a laugh, “Any landing you can walk away from.”

He eyed me like he was considering my sanity.

“I'm fine,” I clarified. “Not that I don't appreciate the concern, but--”

“We need to move,” he said rolling off of me and to his feet in a smooth motion. He came back to offer me a hand up; such a sweetheart.


Thunder cloud
Hung around
So threateningly
Ominously hovering
And the sky
Opened wide

Running through the forest was about the easiest part of the mission. There were about two more miles to go before we reached our Gundams but it was dark enough that trees were more than sufficient for cover but that wouldn't help us if they had infrared so we kept moving.

There were Leos over the canopy nearly directly overhead but their searchlights pointed in the wrong direction. Still Heero and I were well aware their canons were independent of their lights so we made sure to zigzag around the trees and take a more circuitous route than we might have otherwise. When one of the Leos finally opened fire it was well away from our position, seemed like one of the pilots was taking out their frustration on the foliage.


Then you put your hand in mine
And we ran from the rain
Tentatively kissed goodnight
And went our separate ways
And I've never truly felt the way that I
Felt that Fourth of July

“Duo,” Heero said. Just as I was about to climb up to the cockpit.

I turned to watch him stalk right into my personal space. I put my hands up in mock surrender; he wasn't going to hit me but I had to be ready to fend him off if he was planning to check me, we didn't have time.

Impatiently, he pushed my hands out of the way, grabbed me by the back of the neck and pulled me in for a kiss.

Time stopped; we may be on the clock but I'd always make time for this.

After a long moment he pulled back enough to look at me with a quirked eyebrow. “Check your mixtures.”

I burst out laughing, “It wasn't me!”

He turned and headed for Wing with a shrug that clearly screamed 'Whatever.'

I was still laughing as I climbed it to Deathscythe and finished my flight checks.


Truly I have never felt the same inside
Like that Fourth of July
Truly I could never feel the same as I
Felt that Fourth of July



appleqb: It just says Apple. (Default)
( Nov. 1st, 2015 09:20 am)
Well, Ok. I totally said the last post "but it's almost October and that sort of means I should be working on Don't Lie." but then I totally didn't realize it was October until October 26th. Ok, that's not true, but it is sort of true. I didn't equate "It's already October" with "You should be working on Don't Lie" until October 26th. (yes, even despite saying that very thing on September 20th.)

Anyway I'm on Tumblr every day and on October 9th instead of thinking, "You know, if I want to post a theme appropriate thing for the season, I should really get working on Don't Lie so it can be ready by Halloween." I thought, "You know, I wanna do something theme appropriate for the season. I know! I'll post a scary thought for everyday for the rest of the month!" Immediately upon this thought occurring to me I thought of about 30 scary things and since it was already the 9th I decided not to write them down before hand so I had to come up with a new one every single day (with the exception of the final three I posted which were two Universal Truths and the Scariest Thing Humanity Has Ever Encountered. The 29th, 30th, and 31st were pre-planned a week in advance) But of course after I started doing it I forgot most of the ones I initially thought of so a couple of the days I had to divert some serious attention to the tone I was trying to set of the day, which is of course why I didn't think about Don't Lie will right around the end of the month (notice how that's right around the time when I had finally pre-planned most of the rest of the list.)

Hmmm since I just spent so much time talking about it I might as well post the entire list, under a cut. I will say some of this list I don't particularly scary or even alarming but they are sort all aimed at my demographic (Millennial, Black, Women, Liberal, and some generally reoccurring horror movie tropes)

October 2015 Daily Scary Thoughts )

Anyway, So on October 26th I did think "Oh shit, Halloween is a week away and I haven't worked on Don't Lie at all!" So I rushed, rushed, rushed to work on it. The problem was, the only decent time I have to work on fics is when I am at work. At work it is quiet, I have a traditional keyboard to use, I am mostly left alone to work in peace. Verses when I am at home it is NEVER quiet, I have to work off my my laptop (the keyboard is hard use if I my nail have grown out and the USB ports are shit so I to constantly shut down warns and alerts about my device connections AND ROACHES), I don't have a comfortable work space, I have two toddlers that need my constant attention, and I am never left alone to work in peace. So, it's easier to work on fics at work, but at work I do actually have to do work so it's not like I can just sit there and work on fics all day.

So even though I did start to work on Don't Lie, and I did totally break the writer's block/tone problem/discussion it just got too late last night. I was just going to finish the conversation and then post the things. But 1) I wouldn't have time to proofread 2) It's only about 20 pages which was about half the size of the initial part I posted three years ago. SO I'm going to finish the scene I was working on last night, add another scene or two, edit it and then post it when It's ready later on November or whenever. Before the end of the year definitely. I'm serious. Before 2016. seriously.

In other news, still stalled on Dangerous Bonds, I'm trying to fix the problem I caused by making the whole thing from Duo's perspective in the beginning. Found a fix, I'm just trying to make it work in the narrative. And then I have to basically re-write chapters 5-7 and possibly 8 and then I can post 9... if I don't have to re-write that too.

I have not looked at Strange. No rewriting necessary, I'm just mad I keep losing the frickin' timelines I keep doing.

I keep stopping myself from peaking on the Merlin fic, I wanna write it to much, I have other obligations.

I have not looked at Puddles.

Everything else is way way back burner.
appleqb: It just says Apple. (Default)
( Sep. 20th, 2015 12:07 pm)
I stalled out in chapter 5 of Dangerous Bonds again... sorry. No, see what had happen was, I was all amped up to get through the prologue - chapter 4 since I was actually doing the things I wanted and updating and making it work. And then I got to chapters 5-7 where I thought I had done all the work previously but then I saw I tricked myself and I just left a whole bunch of edit notes like "**add character development here" and "re-word this sentence" so that was sort of annoying. Now I realize I'm going to have to do that that thing I said I didn't want to do, rewrite the damn thing for the 4th or 5th time. And also, there is that problem where I wanted to just make the whole thing from Duo's perspective but it doesn't really seem feasible. There are some really important things that happen that will only make sense from Heero's perspective. And I'm thinking Quatre's and Trowa's relationship will only be worth developing from one of their perspectives as well (like Duo is perceptive enough to notice something going on between Quatre and Trowa but he definitely has other things to focus on. Now I have to do some soul searching to see exactly how much of this I want to rewrite.

I kinda want to just set away from Dangerous Bonds again, it's annoying me. but it's almost October and that sort of means I should be working on Don't Lie.

I'm off to do some soul searching by which i mean tackling unresolved plot problems.
So... Sorry I Dipped out for a while, I do that from time to time. Real Life sort of caught up with me and pulled my attention for a good long while. Sorry I keep going MIA from my journals but well`it happens. So look I never check my email but I am on Tumblr pretty much everyday so if your looking for me that's probably your best bet. (I'm appleqb on Tumblr so that should be pretty easy to find me.)

Hmmm, I think the last post I did I explained what was happening with me, I got super caught up Civil Rights and Social Justice which is still a top concern of mine. I had a baby, he's 10 months old now, and my oldest son is 2. I had a video game addiction which, OMG as distracted as I was by Minecraft it was NOTHING compared to the distraction of FFXIV. I 'm talking months MONTHS of every idle moment I had being devoted to playing or thinking about playing that game. Seriously, I got it for Christmas and it's only been within the last 3 weeks that I've been ok with not playing OK? It's AUGUST. I have NEVER been preoccupied by a game that much, but there you go. So I finally beat the story and the expansion and got a couple of classes to max level so I can take a breather which is why I'm posting here instead of killing A ranks in Eorzea right now.

But here I am. Now as for 2014's round up. Of the 22 goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year, my wish to do 12 was nowhere near met. And even though I know I said in September that I accomplishes 3 goals I can really only find 2 >_< and either way I didn't post anything at all so it looks like I did nothing. But really no, I did in fact write a 25,000 word outline to that Merlin story which is a pretty BFD for me. As I said I did finish chapter 9 of Dangerous Bonds, which I'm still no where near posting. And then I stalled out for another year. *sigh*

The real reason I'm posting today is because I want to complain a bit. Yesterday I lost the Flash Drive with all my fics on it. It's not catastrophic but it is very annoying because that's the second time that's in basically as many times as I've worked on my fics. To explain: I had 2 flash drives, one 8gb I was using for fics and a second 3gb just cuz I had two. Well I was using the 8gb whem my laptop fell. the 8gb broke. I didn't lose any fics by the drive wasn't usable. My laptop broke too, but in a way that it is still functioning but it cracked the case large enough for roach to crawl in and lay eggs. A FUCKING ROACH. Baby roaches crawling in and out of my laptop. So fucking gross. the drive broke and my laptop with roaches basically killed my desire to work on fixs, to touch my laptop at all really. So I let myself get distracted it FFXIV for a couple of month. I finally get the urge to work on fics again so i went looking for the 8gb to see if i can fix it. I couldn't find it, but I found the 3gb. K cool, I put the fics on the 3gb took it to work. I actually got some writing done (I fixed some of those things in the prologue of DB I said I couldn't find back in the April post, yay progress) Thursday I transferred the progress to my backups on my laptop and my dropbox. Thursday night I specifically put the 3gb back in my purse to work on it on Friday. Friday I get to my job the 3gb is gone. WHAT?! I turned my purse inside out looking for it, I found the 8gb -_- which is still broken.

Basically I need a new flash drive. And none of my fics are missing but this is still annoying as hell. And now the kids are awake. I gotta make breakfast and start cleaning. Maybe I'll take some writing breaks.
appleqb: It just says Apple. (Default)
( Dec. 11th, 2014 04:15 pm)
I completely gave up writing for a month so I did nothing for November. I really don't have anything to say for progress either. I've basically been completely focused on the civil rights protest that have been so prominent in this later half of 2014 after shooting death Mike Brown. I only got more pissed off after the officer wasn't indicted and then a week later the officer that killed Eric Garner wasn't indicted either.

Basically my priorities drastically shifted from what they were at the beginning of this year. As I have always said, any fics I have started posting I fully intend to finish but I don't know when I will be able to get back to writing.

I fully expect my next post will be the the year round up sometime after January 1st.
appleqb: It just says Apple. (Default)
( Nov. 6th, 2014 09:01 am)
Well, my baby was born on October 21. I accidentally delivered Naturally (absolutely no drugs) I regretted that deeply for the first week, I'm mostly over it now, but I hope to never do that again. (OMG NO DRUGS! Doing that way actually caused additional health complication for both me and the baby, we are both fine now but goddamnit.) Anyway, as I said,due to the complications II could not sit down comfortably for at least a week (the car ride home, omg!) So I very much got no writing done after giving birth.

Before giving birth I had been pretty much stalled out anyway. I did end up switching back over to Don't Lie for October but instead of writing more I got bogged down in petty grammatical issues and sentence structure problems, like minutia that I couldn't focus my attention enough to slog through. Actually, looking back on that now I'm pretty sure that was just the last couple of weeks of pregnancy messing with me, it got super distracting at the end there.

So, now I have a hyperactive toddler and a newborn We'll see how well I can find time and desire to write. Plus it's November, which means NaNoWriMo, It's already the 6th and aside from this post and a few arguments on Tumblr I haven't written anything this month either, meaning 50,000 words will be pretty unattainable again. Plus the distractions are strong, I mean the kids plus I've been playing Minecraft and I've been reading A Hero At The End Of The World (I've been waiting for this book for ages)

Anyway, I think I will go back and check on what kinda mess I left Don't Lie in... but not right now, my new born just woke up.

Wish me luck!
appleqb: It just says Apple. (Default)
( Oct. 5th, 2014 09:25 am)
Oh My God, I got even less done this month than I did last month. I almost spent the entire month stuck on one sentence in Chapter 5 of Dangerous Bonds. I thing that is really pathetic and I'm pretty disappointed in myself. It's kind of like when I turned in a really crappy attempt at an assignment at school and the teacher called me out on it, like "You didn't put any effort into this at all." (which at the time I as pretty chagrined about because that was the first and only teacher I ever had that called me out on that bullshit) but This time I'm indignant because I really did try to do better... Only because I'm both the teacher and the student in this scenario I know that I did try, but I really did put in only a pathetic amount of effort.

So...I finally said fuck it and pushed past the sentence, and I'm still not completely happy with the way it turned out which is less than pleasing. Unfortunately I still think I'm in Chapter 5 editing wise (Hint, I need to edit through Chapter 9 before I start posting again) This is a very slow going process, and it's about to get slower.

It is now October, which means I need to switch to Don't Lie for this month. I "need to" but perhaps it would be more accurate to say "going to" because none of this is really necessity and that's probably part of the problem.

Next month is November which is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) which I always want to take a swing at but the only thing that's really to be actually written is the Uther/Merlin fic which, I just did a word count on and it's just over 25,000 words in outline/rough draft format. Actually I could definitely see being able to double or triple that in size by actually writing it out... And that is a little daunting to think about, that one of the longest stories I have written is actually a guilty pleasure kink fic, purely objectionable material that is filled with basically the number one trigger warning of fandom. Even so, I've definitely said I do not want to work on that until I have Dangerous Bonds posting again.

All of that probably won't matter because I'm about to have a baby sometime in the next two weeks and I remember from the last time how difficult (near impossible for me) is was trying to focus on writing while I had a newborn to take care of, and this time I will have the addition of a 20 month old demanding attention as well. I love my kids guys, which it comes between writing and them, they're going to win.

And then my Maternity Leave will be over before the end of the year and I'll have to contend with work as well. It's really starting to look like I won't have anything posted by the end of this year. That really sucks because it feels like this is another year where I didn't get anything done. Strictly speaking, that's not true. I definitely accomplished at least 3 of those writing goals I set at the beginning of the year and I totally wrote that Merlin outline/rough draft thing, 25,000 words in about two weeks. Definitely more writing than I've done in the last two years, I just don't have anything ready to show/post for it and that's the part that's disappointing.

I other distractions, Um... Super Smash Bros for the 3DS came out a couple of days ago and I have been dying to play that game since I heard they were making it. And since I keep talking about it and going all glassy eyed/lustful over it my husband, being the terrible enabler he is when it comes to video games, has sworn he is going to get it for me before the end of the month. As if that's not bad enough, yesterday he bought Minecraft for the PS3. Honestly, I have never had any inclination to play Minecraft but I did spend about 3 hours playing it last night and honestly I've been itching to pick it back up the whole time I've been writing this post. I am tempered by two things, 1)either I'm really slow or the days are too short and the nights are too long and 2) My Husband is soo much better at it than me.

My first time playing I was half a sleep so I couldn't focus on what the tutorial was actually telling me but I still rushed through the steps and at the end of the tutorial the game was like "Congrats you've finished the tutorial. The game has started, it will be night soon and everything is going to try to kill you. Have Fun!" and I'm like, "Wait... What?" Needless to say, I was completely unprepared and one of the green penis monsters totally killed me about 5 minutes later. Actually I was building a safe spot toward the middle of the starting area and I'm not even sure why but a crater opened up under me and took out one of the walls and left a hole that I didn't want to try and fill. And since I couldn't figure out why it happened in the first place I went back over to where the half constructed shelter had been (I had torn it down trying to figure out what the tutorial was trying to get me to do) and tried to refill in the stone underneath and build a house on a stable foundation, but before I could finish that... dead. And then my husband, who had the advantage of learning from my failure built this awesome two story shelter with like half a moat and a enclosure to trap all the animals in before he even finished the tutorial. -_- show off.

My point the distractions are powerful and numerous. I think I will start working on Don't Lie, right now, other wise I won't get anything done.
appleqb: It just says Apple. (Default)
( Sep. 6th, 2014 01:48 pm)
OMG! I totally did not get anywhere near as much done last month as I wanted. I did not get Dangerous Bonds posted at all, no where near posted.

So, I keep saying I hope to get Dangerous Bonds posted before next month and then not getting it done, I'm going to stop saying that so I stop jinxing myself (I will however still hope to make it happen). So last month I was on chapter 4 and now I'm stuck in chapter 5. Bah. Actually I got up to 6 and realized I needed to go back and do a more extensive rewrite. For one thing, TSA would probably freak out a lot more about the incident at the airport, so I had to tone it down a bit which actually completely invalidated one the GW Drabbles I wrote as an attachment to that scene -_-(That's ok, the drabble didn't make much sense anyway). Then I realized G had no actual reason to jump Duo behind the house, it just didn't make any sense for why he was there in the first place, so I changed that a bit. So that changed Heero's part in that scene as well. As a result something completely different happened that Duo, as the perspective point of view of that scene, didn't see and so the readers don't get to see either, sorry. Although, I may go back a do another GW Drabble to actually explain what happened in that scene now that it's been newly written, so there is that possibility.

Also, speaking of perspective, I'm fixing some of the POV issues earlier in the story. All five boys are the main character, sort of, but the main narrator has always been Duo. I decided to keep the POV solely from him, at least when he is in the scene, so I had to alter all of the little asides to other perspectives, like when Heero first sees Duo and thinks "interesting"; rest assured, he still thinks it but Duo doesn't know that so it's not in the story anymore. Anyway, the story will specifically remain this way until Heero links them, at which point I will feel free to switch back and forth between them again because they will essentially share a consciousness. It's kind of sad because you lose a bit (a tiny bit) of character development AND there's also the slight problem of Duo being an unreliable narrator because of things Heero keeps doing. He's a bit of an ass, Heero is.

Then, because Duo is being less Kaitlyn-like, I decided he wouldn't have dimed Relena out to Une the way he did, which is being a little more problematic because... well look, changing the main character's perspective changes the story, obviously. So this is taking a lot longer than I expected. I will get it done.

Also, I just realized it's September now. If I want to put the next part of Don't Lie up for Halloween, I'm going to have to start working on pretty soon. There is the added problem that I will have a newborn sometime around mid-October and if I remember from the first one correctly, it's very difficult to get writing done with a newborn around (typing with one hand.) Jeez man, I'm working on more than one psychic!Duo stories, I just realized that. I'm justified though, Duo is very nearly somewhat psychic in the actual anime, but I'm not going to get into that.

So, despite probably not getting directly into Strange next like I said I would last month, I can absolutely get into the story about what's going on with it like I teased last month. So here goes...

So... about Strange )

So that's it. I should really just stop bitching about it and write it. And I will, as soon as I wrestle Dangerous Bonds into submission... and maybe the next chapter of Don't Lie too.

appleqb: It just says Apple. (Default)
( Aug. 2nd, 2014 01:41 pm)
So, I was not able to post anything in July, sadly. I did not actually get distracted, at least not for days at a time. It really just took nearly the entire month of July to finish that notes/very rough draft of the Uther/Merlin 5+1 porn thing.

I typically keep all my files in three places, on my computer, in dropbox and on a flash drive. I work on them from my computer, the dropbox is the back up (I have lost too many pages of writing for various reasons so now I keep the back up) and the flash drive so I can work on them when I'm not at home (namely when I am at work, which is especially fun because it looks like I'm actually doing work when I'm typing in a word document on the computer verses playing around with my phone all day.) However since that Merlin fic is mostly graphic pornography I actually just refused to open the file on my work computer, so I actually wrote the whole thing in the notepad of my iPhone which is why the whole thing is in such a spectacularly rough format. It actually needs to be 'written' before it can be edited.

But the important thing is that I finished. Tragically I did lose part of a scene in chapter two because of the way I happened to write the story out. (Where I wrote the first part, didn't think it went far enough, wrote an alternate ending, decided I liked both parts and decided to make a completely different chapter, started writing out the beginning of the second chapter only to then realize I wanted more chapters, then skipped into starting to write chapter three.) So when I jumped to writing chapter three I still has a scene between the beginning of chapter two and the ending of chapter two to bridge the gap. I figured, "it's ok I'll come back to it at the end," but when I did come back I had forgotten it.

A couple of other interesting things about this fic:

Chapter 4 developed a plot, like an actually episode of Merlin type plot. Because so much happens in chapter 6 it's actually about two chapters long and then chapter 4 was just so short I felt like I had to pad it. So part of the exposition in chapter 6 and then the lead in to chapter 3 gave me an idea for a scenario to lead into chapter 4 that ends up being pretty serendipitous to a a sort of reoccuring thing I have going on in the story. It fits nicely.

I wrote it somewhat out of sequence. Like 1,2c,2a,3,6,4,then 5 and currently there is not really a 2b, not like I originally envisioned it, anyway. It doesn't matter, I'll work it out.

Also, I spend a night thinking/half dreaming about how I wanted chapter 6 to proceed instead of sleeping. But of course when I started to write out chapter 6 it took so long because I couldn't make the conversation work like it had in my head. The conversation being how Arthur confronts Uther about what he's doing to Merlin. I managed to make it work but of course I don't think it's as good as my original envisioning. Then writing chapter 6 first caused an difficult tonal shift in chapters 4&5.

I actually want to go into a little detail. Spoilers and talk of Non-con )

So that's that. It's done. Or at least it's done enough that I can put it down and work on some other things I want to actually get posted before I fully flesh out that story.

On that note, I went back to Dangerous Bonds and accomplished my goal of making Duo a little less Kaitlyn and a little more Duo. I fixed some of the narration so, at least in my opinion, it flows a little better. It took a bit more rewriting that I wanted, but the story didn't actually changed, just Duo's tone and a bit of his reasoning for doing the things he does.

Right now I took a break from Dangerous Bonds to make this post. Really, I think I need to do a floor plan for the Institute. I kind of remember doing that before but I don't know where it is anymore and while editing and rereading the descriptions just don't seem to match what I thought it looked like in my head. That's what I'm going to go back to doing when I'm done here. I hope, again, to get all the the previous chapter, now edited, to AO3 before the end of the month. I will probably fix the way it is posted on all the other archives it's in (fanfiction.net and Mediaminer.org as well as My website.) Hopefully I can get this done before the end of the month.

There's also a Merlin Podfic BigBang going on that I kind of do. I just doing know if I can manage. There's at least 3 Merlin fics I really want to see podficced and I do have a podfic on my list of goals for this year. I'm just sort of stuck on a few things. Namely my near compulsive urge to do voices/accents. I don't want to offend anyone with a shitty, inconsistent, and non-region specific faux English accent. That's actually a personal pet peeve of my own that I don't want to inflict on other people. Also, the one thing you sort of need when recording a podfic is silence and I have a 18 month old, silence is just something I don't have anymore. I still have a couple of more days to decided if I want to give it a try, but really, time spent podficcing is time spent not writing which is really what I'm trying to make the priority for myself. I want to but I probably won't.

Peaking forward a bit, I think after I finish getting the next part of Dangerous Bonds out I need to shift my attention to Strange. It's been so long since I last updated that story I think I'm at 5 years now. Ouch. Ha, it's not like I forgot about it. I'm just having trouble reigning in the plots a bit. Actually there's a story about what's going on with Strange, I think I will save that for the August Round Up.

Anyway, back to Dangerous Bonds for now. Be back next month at very least.
appleqb: It just says Apple. (Default)
( Jul. 1st, 2014 08:00 pm)

SO... sometime late last month, I think like two or three days after I posted last months round up... I FINISHED CHAPTER 9 OF DANGEROUS BONDS! So this is totally not what I am excited about, though. First of all this is the second or third time I've finished chapter 9, so nothing new there. Second, I still want to go back tweak it a bit; I think I may have left something out, or more accurately I think I can fit a little bit more into it. Anyway, as I said last month, I figured out what it was about Duo's characterization that was bothering me all this time. Once I got that down, the conversation that had been holding up chapter 9 was pretty easy to finish.

But I'm not ready to post it yet. I still have to go back through the old chapters and do the touch ups. I think I'm still on chapter 5, so once I get all that done I'll be ready to add the story to AO3 and post the next chapter. Like I said I want to go back through chapter 9 again and make sure I get it just the way I want.

And then!!! (This is what I'm excited about)

Well I decided to take a break from Dangerous Bonds for a bit, fresh eyes and all that. So instead of jumping straight into Don't Lie, like I have been doing, I decided to look through my files. YOU KNOW WHAT I FOUND? I found the Untitled Uther/Merlin fic.

Background: I have, as I have mentioned before, (the post of from the end of last November) I have a maybe not so secret Uther/Merlin DubCon!Kink. And that I was writing a one-shot PWP and then that turned into a second multichaptered time-travel Uther/Merlin/Arthur fic. WOW. Unfortunately sometime after that I was distracted by something else and forgot about the whole thing. So what happened last month when I was looking through my stuff is that I found the sketch/outline that I had completed of the one-shot. (It was just the one shot unfortunately I did not outline the Time-travel fic so I don't remember what I was on about.)**

So I read the one shot and got all mad when I finished it because I totally chickened out of the sex scene at the end. So I was like, "I can fix this!" So I started at the middle of the story and wrote an alternate ending, with sex. And then when I finished it I was like, "This is pretty good, but..." I had written non-sex, and that ending was pretty good too and I didn't want to actually get rid of it, so it sort of turned the one-shot PWP porn in to a two chapter story. But then I had to go back and rewrite the beginning of the second chapter (since I was keeping the one-shot mostly intact as the first chapter.) So when I was writing the start of the second chapter I got an Idea of another setting... and then a different sex act! So then suddenly this was a four chaptered story. WHOA... what the hell? Only four chapters... so then I was thinking about some sort of resolution to this story and I was kinda bouncing around the idea of Arthur saving Merlin from Uther when this song came on during the shuffle of my ipod (hint: the song was Rope Burn by Janet Jackson... yep) AND GAVE ME ANOTHER IDEA FOR UTHER/MERLIN... So now this story is now Officially 6 chapters long. It works out to 5+1 which, I'm not really a fan of 5 things stories but now suddenly I'M WRITING ONE.

This story now has a title. It's tentative but I like it and will most likely keep it. "Five Times Uther Was Alone With Merlin, And One Time Arthur Made Sure That Would Never Happen Again" by Fallout Boy. It's a Plot-What-Plot (or Porn-Without-Plot depending on how you define PWP)that 'Surprise!' developed a plot... Of course the plot -is- Porn so... *shrug*

Guys! I'm so excited about this! It's incredibly well done, for me anyway. It's definitely not my first sex scene, but it is there first I will actually post. It's the first fic I'll posted in a non-anime fandom, which is really sort of a big milestone for me, one I never really thought I would cross. AND this thing Is pouring out of me. I couldn't go to sleep last night because I was plotting out the 6th chapter and I'm trying to get it all down today before I forgot it.

So for June I technically finished Two of my writing goals for the year. I "Finished" chapter 9 of Dangerous Bonds and I "finished" the first part of the Uther/Merlin fic and determined the rest of the story to a very thorough degree. But I won't be posting anything for a while. I'm not going to go back to editing Dangerous Bonds until I get enough of the Merlin 5+1 fic done that I won't lose any part of it. And the Merlin 5+1 is largely just very anally detailed outline or poorly formatted story, depending on how you look at it. SO it will take ages to finish. BUT I AM INCREDIBLY CONFIDENT that barring tragedy, I WILL finish this story.

As long as this story is eating my brain I will continue writing it, so I may have something ready to post in July (Dangerous Bonds most likely).

**While writing this post I have remembered, roughly, the plot of the Time-Travel Uther/Merlin/Arthur fic. And I might try to tease that out. But really the two things above are my priority.

Hopefully I will be back here before the end of the month.
appleqb: It just says Apple. (Default)
( Jun. 21st, 2014 12:41 pm)
I was making progress!

Then things happened... as they always do. I swear this is not a excuse, just a fact.

But as I said last month, I do have progress to report. That being the plot hurdle that I managed to get over. That plot hurdle was on Dangerous Bonds and is thus tied to the progress. Well I did inch forward a bit into the next part of Dangerous Bonds, which is to way I am managing to fix the problems that have been bothering me for 5+ years. I mean, it's posted to chapter 8 but it's written to chapter 15 everything after 8 is a mess though; it's disjointed because I was struggling with the narrative a trying to separate the original story from the story I'm actually trying to tell (which is not all that different, but is different enough)

Anyway, I realized sometime last month that I couldn't remember the main character's name in the original series. I remembered it about a week later (it's Kaitlyn) but I realize that even though I remember the Dark Visions series it doesn't have as strong a pull on me any more. So this should go a little smoother. Also, I think I found the thing that was bothering me about my last read through. Because, bless her heart, Kaitlyn is spunky/sassy/all those things the teenaged female protagonist of a YA novel tends to be, she's still not a trained terrorist. And while Duo in this story is not himself a trained terrorist, from a certain point view, he kinda is. /vague spoiler type thing. So I'm going though a fix his voice and make him a little less OOC; not so much socially outcast teenage girl and a little more disaffected youth, I guess. Some of the sentence structure is still making me twitch but I'm not going to do much about it. Like I said, I'm not trying to rewrite, just tweak.

So, I was making progress... and then I accidentally read a Frostiron fic... then I had to read all of the frostiron fics... *sigh* I know, I'm too easily distracted.

Needless to say I have nothing to show.

I am so far behind.
I dunno what happen. I know I did a March Roundup, I don't know why I didn't post it. I did it super late in the month, sometime after the 20th but whatever. I had basically no progress to report fandom wise. I did finish all of Bleach (and actually Attack on Titan) before the end of March but then I didn't do any writing or plotting. I turned 30 on March 20th (wow I'm an old lady, never thought that shit would happen.) Also, I'm pregnant, again. My first son is only 1 (well 15 months old now in May) and the next baby is due in midOctober. Unless they change the rules again they should be a grade apart when they start school, hopefully. So big personal news in March; no fandom stuff.

April though. Well, I didn't do to much in April either. I did a lot of opening documents and staring at them without actually adding new content. Actually, what I realized was if I were to added a new chapter to Dangerous Bonds (which is honestly the closest to being finished and thus posted) I would post the newest chapter on AO3 which means the older chapters would also need to be posted, so I started to edit them. I only got though the prologue last month which is what caused the problem. Because the last time I read through the thing it was almost impassable, I'm sure everyone has this problem with the old stuff they wrote. I'm not trying to rewrite the damn thing for the 3rd or 4th time, I just want tighten the screws a bit. But when I went in with my metaphorical screwdriver I didn't find as much as I thought I should to fix. So that was my problem. I took a step back and hopefully I can come back at that from a different angel and I will hopefully get the results I expected.

Now that I have some traction I can say with certainty I will have progress to report in May. I might even have one of two of my goals finished since I was definitely working on them yesterday. I even got over a plot hurdle that's been holding me back for a while. But I will cover all of that in May's Roundup next month. I maybe back before then if I have something to post.
appleqb: It just says Apple. (Default)
( Mar. 16th, 2014 10:12 am)
I'm getting later and later in the month with these. Jeez, that's so like me.

It's mostly because again there was nothing to report. I've been wasting my free time watching Bleach more. But the good think is I'm on episode 330 right now (I think Cartoon Network was on 336 last night) so I'm almost done (there are only like 36o or so episodes on Hulu anyway. So at very least I will be done by the end of the month, if not by next weekend and I can turn my attention to getting so of those writing goals done.

At very least I suspect I'm going to do one of the easy outline ones, which does mean I won't have anything to actually post, but at least it will be progress. Actually I've been thinking about working on Don't Lie (Vamp!Heero as I call it.) Though to be honest, it is the wrong time of year to be working on it. But hey, if I do finish it before October I'll actually be able to post it on Holloween, like it's supposed to be. Though, to be honest, the story is no longer as originally intended.

See, originally I was going to do a series of vampire stories for Halloween. One where Heero is a Vampire pursuing Duo, one where Duo is a Vampire pursuing Heero, One where Heero and Duo were both Vampire rivals of some kind, and one where Heero and Duo where human and fight vampire monsters. Alas, the first story that started to develop was the Vamp!Heero one, and the stubborn bastard decided he wasn't a vampire after all, which sort of killed the thing.

But, as it stands, he is still a supernatural type creature, and the story is still a viable Halloween type... maybe not, but whatever. If I do end up working on Don't Lie, I probably won't post that till October anyway. I'm such a pain in the ass.

Anyway, I've been typing this during "commercial" breaks, and now I'm on episode 333 so, there you have it.
appleqb: It just says Apple. (Default)
( Feb. 12th, 2014 01:47 pm)
Hey, it's pretty much the middle of February now. I have once again been putting this off because I have nothing to report. None of the goals have been reached or even work one... Well that's not true. I think I recorded a bit more of a podfic and I wrote a couple sentences on at least one of the fics, so that's at least that.

The problem is that I... Well sometime last month a decided that I really needed to watch Bleach because everytime I try to catch it on CN Adult Swim I'm like "What the F is happening? Who the F are these people? I don't know what the H is going on!" So I went on Hulu and I started watching from episode one... I'm on like episode 84 or something it's like season 4 I guess, I totally missed this whole BigBad, I thought it when right from Rescuing Rukia to the Visors... So that's like 60 or so episodes I missed.

Anyway, Bleach has been occupying all my free time :-( so I've not been working on fanish type things. We'll see how long this distraction last.

Will be back at least for a February round-up.
So… Today was January 8th.

I’ve been trying to think about what to make this post about. I was going to make it a December round up like I did for November but now I’m thinking it should be more like a 2013 round up. There’s not much to tell. So this will be a round up and a forward view of 2014, so here goes…

Last Year I made 14 post, it was a very slow year (though I’m sure I’m sure I’ve had slower). Looking back at 2013 I feel like the year sucked. There is one thing that makes me not completely write off the year, my first child was born and there are no adequate words to fully describe what he means to me. He is Amazing, Beautiful, Adorable, Frustrating, Smart, Quick, I have by no means run out of adjectives, I should stop now while I can. Because of him, 2013 will always have a special place in my heart.

Other than that, it sucked.

I didn’t get much writing done, I didn’t get much reading done, I moved (to a worse neighborhood), I struggled creatively, personally, and financially. I was betrayed in such a way I may never fully recover and because of that I spent so much of last year with a poisonous anger in my heart and head it pretty much over shadowed everything. I want to let it go.

It sucked, but it’s over now.

Last year:

I completed two podfics: Ulterior Motives and Looking Glass Country, both Smallville Fanfics by Astolat.
I started an AO3 account (only has the two mentioned podfics, I’m not going to add any of the fanfics until I continue them).
I’m in the Audiofic Archive, for the above mentioned podfics as well.
And I started a Tumblr, which I mostly reblog from other people, and don’t really add any new post.
I saw some new shows, movies, got some new fandoms to lurk around the edges of, but that’s pretty much it.

Looking Forward!

I want to get more done this year. Sadly that was the plan last year too, and we see how that turned out. AND I am super determined to finish at least at THREE (3) of the many many things I'm working on.

And because I love Listing things, here's a GD list:

(in no particular order, things I have started, not including the plot bunnies)

Dangerous Bond, Gundam Wing Fic, 8 chapters completed. Goal: Finish chapter 9
Strange, Digimon Fic, 10 chapters completed. Goal: Finish Chapter 11
Puddles Arc, Digimon Fic, 5 parts completed. Goal: Finish Next Part
Don't Lie, Gundam Wing fic, 1 part completed. Goal: Finish Next Part by Oct. 31st.
Untitled Uther/Merlin, Merlin Fic, Multi-Part. Goal: Finish First Part, determine the rest.
Death and the Thief of Hearts, Gundam Wing Fic, Completed. Goal: Re-write ending.
A Memory So Strong, Gundam Wing Fic, One-Shot WorkInProgress. Goal: Finish to at least 75%.
Untitled Roads_Diverged Challenge, Digimon & Gundam Wing fic 2 Stories Finished. Goal: Finish at least 2 more stories.
Untitled Monsters story, Digimon Fic, chaptered no parts finished. Goal: Outline.
Untitled I_Should_Kill_You, Harry Potter Fic, WorkInProgress. Goal: Outline.
Untitled Not!Vampire, Digimon Fic, WorkInProgress. Goal: Outline.
Untitled Mindscape story, Gundam Wing Fic, WorkInProgress. Goal: Finish scene, Outline.
Untitled Fem!Slash, Star Trek Reboot Fic, WorkInProgress. Goal: Finish, De-anon, post.
Untitled cruelintentionsgw, Gundam Wing Fic, WorkInProgress. Goal: Finish a section, re-outline.
Untitled Episode 8 spinoff, Digimon Fic, WorkInProgress. Goal: Outline, 50% Complete.
Random Paper Notes, Various Fandoms, OnPaper. Goal: Copy into file, Start some stories.
Original Short Story, Original, First part Complete. Goal: Finish next Part, Outline.
Original Novel (magic), Original, 60,000+ words. Goal: Write more, Outline.
Original Book (intrigue), Original, Complete. Goal: Completely re-write, update.
Unnamed, Merlin Podfic, 50% recorded. Goal: Finish, Ask Author's Permission to post.
Unnamed, Merlin Podfic, 30% recorded. Goal: Finish/maybe re-record, Ask Author's Permission to post.
Unnamed, Gundam Wing Podfic, 40% recorded. Goal: Finish/maybe re-record, Ask Author's Permission to post.

OMG! I don't even think this is everything I started but haven't finished. I'm going to meet at least 3 of these goals, I'm shootin for 12 though. So I will make a status post at the beginning of each month (nothing as ambitious as word counts)

Good Luck to me!

Happy New Year!