Oh My God, I got even less done this month than I did last month. I almost spent the entire month stuck on one sentence in Chapter 5 of Dangerous Bonds. I thing that is really pathetic and I'm pretty disappointed in myself. It's kind of like when I turned in a really crappy attempt at an assignment at school and the teacher called me out on it, like "You didn't put any effort into this at all." (which at the time I as pretty chagrined about because that was the first and only teacher I ever had that called me out on that bullshit) but This time I'm indignant because I really did try to do better... Only because I'm both the teacher and the student in this scenario I know that I did try, but I really did put in only a pathetic amount of effort.

So...I finally said fuck it and pushed past the sentence, and I'm still not completely happy with the way it turned out which is less than pleasing. Unfortunately I still think I'm in Chapter 5 editing wise (Hint, I need to edit through Chapter 9 before I start posting again) This is a very slow going process, and it's about to get slower.

It is now October, which means I need to switch to Don't Lie for this month. I "need to" but perhaps it would be more accurate to say "going to" because none of this is really necessity and that's probably part of the problem.

Next month is November which is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) which I always want to take a swing at but the only thing that's really to be actually written is the Uther/Merlin fic which, I just did a word count on and it's just over 25,000 words in outline/rough draft format. Actually I could definitely see being able to double or triple that in size by actually writing it out... And that is a little daunting to think about, that one of the longest stories I have written is actually a guilty pleasure kink fic, purely objectionable material that is filled with basically the number one trigger warning of fandom. Even so, I've definitely said I do not want to work on that until I have Dangerous Bonds posting again.

All of that probably won't matter because I'm about to have a baby sometime in the next two weeks and I remember from the last time how difficult (near impossible for me) is was trying to focus on writing while I had a newborn to take care of, and this time I will have the addition of a 20 month old demanding attention as well. I love my kids guys, which it comes between writing and them, they're going to win.

And then my Maternity Leave will be over before the end of the year and I'll have to contend with work as well. It's really starting to look like I won't have anything posted by the end of this year. That really sucks because it feels like this is another year where I didn't get anything done. Strictly speaking, that's not true. I definitely accomplished at least 3 of those writing goals I set at the beginning of the year and I totally wrote that Merlin outline/rough draft thing, 25,000 words in about two weeks. Definitely more writing than I've done in the last two years, I just don't have anything ready to show/post for it and that's the part that's disappointing.

I other distractions, Um... Super Smash Bros for the 3DS came out a couple of days ago and I have been dying to play that game since I heard they were making it. And since I keep talking about it and going all glassy eyed/lustful over it my husband, being the terrible enabler he is when it comes to video games, has sworn he is going to get it for me before the end of the month. As if that's not bad enough, yesterday he bought Minecraft for the PS3. Honestly, I have never had any inclination to play Minecraft but I did spend about 3 hours playing it last night and honestly I've been itching to pick it back up the whole time I've been writing this post. I am tempered by two things, 1)either I'm really slow or the days are too short and the nights are too long and 2) My Husband is soo much better at it than me.

My first time playing I was half a sleep so I couldn't focus on what the tutorial was actually telling me but I still rushed through the steps and at the end of the tutorial the game was like "Congrats you've finished the tutorial. The game has started, it will be night soon and everything is going to try to kill you. Have Fun!" and I'm like, "Wait... What?" Needless to say, I was completely unprepared and one of the green penis monsters totally killed me about 5 minutes later. Actually I was building a safe spot toward the middle of the starting area and I'm not even sure why but a crater opened up under me and took out one of the walls and left a hole that I didn't want to try and fill. And since I couldn't figure out why it happened in the first place I went back over to where the half constructed shelter had been (I had torn it down trying to figure out what the tutorial was trying to get me to do) and tried to refill in the stone underneath and build a house on a stable foundation, but before I could finish that... dead. And then my husband, who had the advantage of learning from my failure built this awesome two story shelter with like half a moat and a enclosure to trap all the animals in before he even finished the tutorial. -_- show off.

My point the distractions are powerful and numerous. I think I will start working on Don't Lie, right now, other wise I won't get anything done.
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